Life After
by Isalena16
Summary: Just a short piece. Let's take a look into Bella's new life as a vampire who was changed by force...by James.


I looked down at my marble skin with glassy amber eyes. I was a sight to behold, or so each member of the Cullen family liked to tell me, with the soul of an ageless vampire and a strongly shielded mind. The optimistic, clumsy girl I used to be was exiled from this world, leaving me in its place.

Maybe if the fight with James had gone differently If I d had time to get used to the idea of becoming a vampire, then maybe I wouldn t have detested this body and life that was thrust upon me. Maybe I d glory in my strength and grace. Maybe I d be able to smile with ease at my loving adopted family.

Maybe I d be happy.

Hey Bella? Alice s musical voice rang clearly through mine and Edward s room. I looked up from my book, my expression blank.

Yes Alice?

My lack of enthusiasm didn t seem to faze her as she sauntered into the room and answered back cheerfully. Do you want to go hunting tomorrow?

I placed my book gently on the bed. Sure, who s coming?

Well Her eyes shifted and I was instantly suspicious.

Who else is coming Alice? I insisted.

Alice let out a sigh. Well Rosalie needs to hunt-

No.

Bella I know how you feel about her, but you need to just let it go. It won t kill you to go hunting with her. You guys don t even have to speak to each other.

I picked up my book again and began where I left off. I m sorry Alice but I will not hunt with Rosalie. Even with you there.

Alice continued, oblivious to my attitude. I have an idea!

She disappeared and returned with Jasper at her side. His steady gaze was amused.

Would you mind, Jasper? She looked at him with wide eyes. He chuckled in response.

He turned towards me and said jokingly, Ma am, I will gladly accompany you on this dangerous hunt. If you ll have me of course? He said, exaggerating his southern drawl.

It wouldn t be so bad with Jasper along. His skills with emotion would probably come in handy when Vampire Barbie decided to rip my throat out and vice versa.

Well, Jasper, consider yourself hired. I resigned .

He nodded in reply. Looking at Alice he asked, What time tomorrow?

Early, Carlisle and Edward won t be back until tomorrow afternoon.

She said that last part for me. Despite my hardships with becoming a vampire, my relationship with Edward was still intact. I still loved him more than anything, but the guilt he felt for what happened with James a couple years ago was omnipresent.

Alice smiled, no doubt satisfied with herself for getting her way again.

Knock Knock!

Startled, I sprung off my bed into a defensive crouch. I breathed in the scents around me and straightened up. Come in Jasper.

The door opened softly and a wave of calm enveloped my body. The last bits of tension rolled away.

Jasper casually strolled in. How are you Bella?

I raised my eyebrow at him, As well as can be, I guess.

Jasper smiled sadly, a faraway look in his thirsty black eyes. Someday, Bella, you ll be okay. You ll be happy again.

I looked at him, confused. He couldn t know something like that. Maybe maybe not

Jasper shook his head, It won t always be like this Bella. I would know. I lived in a constant state of depression for I can t even remember how long. He ran his hands through his honey blond hair, probably reliving the memories. But I got better and so will you.

I looked at him, my eyes were skeptical, his were determined.

Edward worries you know.

I sighed at that, when was Edward not worried about something?

So does everyone else, even Rosalie, believe it or not.

I started to disagree but he cut me off with a look.

Sorry, I muttered, my eyes cast downward.

Jasper nodded accepting my apology. And we all know that too Bella, but he hesitated, you know, you could try a little harder. You re not exactly making life easier for yourself or anyone else.

The accusation was like a punch in the face. A swirl of erratic emotions flitted through my brain. Shock at his accusation, anger, pain, and guilt

I looked up at him and purposefully threw my anger in his direction. His eyes flickered with pain, my pain, but he just stood there and took it, like the noble and compassionate brother I knew him to be. He simply waited until my emotions ran dry and I collapsed in defeat. My eyes burned with unshed tears. You re right. my voiced tightened at the end.

He walked towards me and gently placed his hand on my shoulder in comfort. I didn t look up at him but I suspected that his expression was thoughtful and assured. We both knew that he was right. I needed to move on, or at least try. This state of permanence that I was in could only hold me back if I let it.

Jasper was the only member of my family willing and brave enough to push me out of my safety net and into reality.

And for that I was grateful.

Even though he had to suffer right along with me as I bombarded him with my raging emotions, he took it with grace. The pain he d felt through me was inconsequential. What mattered to him, I realized, was making me really see, and feel, for the first time in so long.

I was vaguely aware of him silently taking his hand from my shoulder and laying me down on the bed as a gentle serenity brushed my spirit and put me in a trance. I could barely make out his retreating footsteps.

Thank you I whispered.

I felt him smile at that. What are brothers for? The door clicked as it closed.

I was content, for perhaps the first time in two years. 


End file.
